heh..

hidup sekarang macam tak menentu skit dan bosan.. hari2 buat perkara yang sama berulang2.. bangun pagi, pukul 5 lebih, grak pegi klas pukul 8, ambil kawan, sampai klas pukul 830... start klas, habis klas kadang2 sampai kul 4, hantar kawan balik.. sampai rumah trus online.. menghadap laptop sampai tidur.. pukul 10 da tidur.. haih..................

setelah sekian lama memendam rasa.. kiu3..

sya kembali memblogging nampaknya.. tiba-tiba hari ni terasa nak menulis di blog.. walau ayat tak berapa catik.. tetap mahu meluahkan perasaan yang agak terpendam.. he..

peristiwa hari ini yang menyebabkan sya ingin menulis.. sekadar ingin berkongsi rasa gembira kepada yang mengenali dan mengambil berat akan keadaan sya di kejauhan ini (ade ke?)..

baru sebentar tadi, sya memperkenalkan seseorang kepada ibu sya... seseorang yang sya yakin (setakat ini) dapat membahagiakan sya di hari2 mendatang.. ketika susah, ketika senang, ketika gembira, ketika sedih.. seseorang yang ingin dijadikan teman hidup secara ringkasnya..

setelah berjam2 menyoal dan disoal, ibu memberikan respon yang positif dan sya turut berasa gembira.. dia turut berasa gembira walau pada awalnya, bergegar lutut beb~ haha..

harapan di masa hadapan agar hati ini tidak dipalingkan jika ini pilihan terbaik buat diri sya, dirinya, dan keluarga.. terima kasih.. :)

And when you know, you know..

I know its not your fault, but I’m a locked door
And inside I’ma mess by someone before
And I wish that I, I could find a key
To unlock all the things that you want us to be
Let me open up and start again,
But there’s a safe around my heart
I don’t know how to let you in,
And that’s what keeps us apart
And that’s why I need time.
I said I need you,
I need you to understand, you, you, you (x2)

Call up the locksmith,
Tell him we need him quick
We’ve got a million keys,
None of them seem to fit
While you’re on the phone,
call up the clocksmith,
Cuz I could use some time,
Even the slightest bit
Let me open up and start again,
And break this safe around my heart
I don’t know how to let you in,
And that’s what keeps us apart
And that’s why I need time
I said I need you
I need you to understand, you, you, you (x2)

I’m thinking now’s the time,
Maybe its time to go, if I gave you my heart, be gentle,
I’m tired of laying low, lets give the world a show
And when you know, you know,
And when you know, you know, you know
And when you know, you know, you know, you know
And that’s why I need time
I said I need you,
I need you to understand, you, you, you (x2)
I need you to understand (x4)
I need you (x3)
I need you, you, you
[End]

*Travie Mccoy: Need You

great song, great voice, didn't know he can sing, but the song is superb!!

someone who is...

gentleman, cool, sweet voice, and as tall like tae yang..

gay like adam lambert or once upon gay like gerard (muahaha)..

tough one of my friends may fit these characteristics perfectly..

friend is never going to be lover..

this is for sure.. this is for very sure.. this is for hundred percent, no-turning-back, sure..

but some people just don't get this..

am i been choosy?

yes..

the reason is, i used to be a brokenhearted girl for not been careful enough with the only one whom i fell in love..

this took me years(and still trying) to recover and i'm done..

love is just not my thing..

and i might end up with who-ever-caught-my-parents-attention-that-are-keen-to-hook-me-up-with-some-relatives..

but gay like is preferable. especially who can sing well.. 'namja' is just too rough..

so, jo kwons out there! hello,nice to meet you, can you give me your number please?i'll give you a missed call right away~ :P

hey, it's you!.. ahh.. ishashiburi dana..

someone from the past added me on fb.. he was the first person who thought me about relationship.. but it was an unknown relationship though.. we were in the same team, playing tennis for school.. he made the first move, and i accepted him, even though i was looking at another senior at that time.. it was strange how we met and worked with the relationship.. calls, meeting in empty classroom on weekend, tennis practices, presents delivery every events (candy with message delivery thingy), kirim2 salam.. that was how we were back then.. it just stopped when he graduated from school and went to university in Australia.. no words about going to anywhere from him though.. and no words about ending the never-even-started-relationship.. currently he had engaged and about to get married.. i almost forgot about him until a second ago.. but thanx to him, i learned how to feel numbed..

mari mengomel kerana..

kerana kebosanan sekarang.. sya ingin mengomel... di rumah sekarang adelah sangat sunyi.. ibu dan bapa sudah tidur.. adik di biliknya, dan saya di bilik sendiri.. sungguh bosan... rutin harian adelah fb,twitter,youtube,blogging, kpop.. kesimpulannya onl9 sepanjang masa.. (selepas selesai tugasan mengemas dan membasuh baju.. walopon menyidai baju di kala petang hari..haha.. oke, siyes tak senonoh.. takpe2..)

dah beberape bulan menganggur, tapi kerja tak cari pun lagi secara bersungguh2.. setakat aplikasi2 di internet.. adela register sane sini mengharap ade kampeni yg terpandang resume saya ni.. yg dah di rejek pun bnyak juge.. adekah sebab resume tak brape menarik? banyak kali gakla dah edit.. tapi takpela.. harap2 agensi kerajaan ni, pandangla orang2 cam saya ye.. insya Allah.. esok, berazam tanak tido selepas sahur, dan membuat kerja2 berfaedahla.. tapi tak tahu lagi ape.. oleh itu, kena la tido lagi sejam.. pasal kul 4 dah nak bangun kan.. tapi sebelum tu , kene update dlu game2 kat fb... kang rugi.. haha.. (haih, bile la nak berubah ni.. orang lain dok berkejar2 masa di bulan ramadhan nih.. kite dok ngadap laptop 24/7!!! move on!)

mahu!

tidak seperti tahun2 yang lepas.. tahun ini akan menyambut hari lahir bersama keluarga.. oleh kerana hari lahir saya sehari selepas hari lahir bapa sya, kami akan menyambut hari lahir di kampung semperna sambutan bulan ramadhan dan bersungkai bersama saudara mara di kampung juga.. tetapi sya tidaklah berasa begitu gembira kerana, tidak begitu rapat dengan saudara mara sebelah bapa.. tidak mengapa, sya akan berusaha dengan lebih gigih untuk lebih mengenali mereka! haha..

tahun ini, tiba2 sya teringin akan sebuah gitar.. di tahun2 yang lepas, sya mendapat banyak encik patrik! mereka telah menghuni bilik sya dengan gembiranya... saya pun turut gembira.. terima kasih kepada si pemberi!!! sayang semua~ (pinjam ek diyana..he).. nanti suatu hari akan mengambil gambar mereka dan upload di sini..

berkenaan gitar itu, sya ingin membeli sendiri.. tetapi, niat terbantut akibat tragedi semalam.. huhu.. emak telah memarahi (takdela marah pun, cakap je) saya kerana telah membeli pen 'liquid chalk for black board' sebanyak 4 batang, berharga rm5 setiap satu... katanya.. 'tak fikir2 pun beli banyak2 ni..' .. huuu.. saya bersedih lalu memboikot trus masuk ke bilik (konon merajuk).. rupa2nya... emak tidak perasan pun.. ces, penat jek.. huhu..

di sebabkan itu, saya menyimpan dendam terhadap pembelian gitar itu setelah mendapat kerja dan bergaji tiap bulan.. mari mencari kerja!!!!

kerja 0h kerja..

misi mencari kerja adalah sangat susah.. ditambah pula dengan pointer yang agak tidak memuaskan, tidak dipandang langsung oleh syarikat2 yang agak besar.. saya mahu bekerja di tempat yang agak dekat dengan rumah (kalau boleh).. tidak berniat untuk mempunyai kerja yang bergaji besar2.. cukup sekadar boleh menampung keperluan hidup (dan menampung hutang2..hu).. ibu dan bapa nampaknya berminat untuk saya menjadi seorang pengajar.. bapa suka saya mengambil KPLI, manakala ibu suka saya menjadi pensyarah politeknik.. mereka suka saya bekerja dengan kerajaan.. mungkin lebih senang begitu.. walaupun gaji tidak sehebat syarikat2 'oil & gas' , tapi hidup persaraan dijamin selesa.. ditambah sejarah keluarga yang mempunyai banyak masalah kesihatan, mereka ditanggung oleh kerajaan.. (memandangkan saya anak mereka, tidak mustahil apabila berada di umur mereka pun mempunyai masalah yang sama).. oleh itu, mari berusaha mendapatkan kerja sebelum tahun depan!!!

Part 1

single chat on gtalk makes my heart beat a little faster.. just like before.. it does feels good for a moment.. but the pain comes right after.. why is it i wonder? oh! then i realized.. the similarity of both.. they are just dreams.. wake up! wake up! my dear heart.. don't get drunk by dreaming.. sober now and drag me out from this false hope.. now! now! now!!

'uh, wait a little longer.. just give me ten more minutes... i'll promise to wake up before it gets too late' said the heart, mumbling words while half asleep.. 'fine then' agreed the body weakly..

to be continued...

NR

balik2 dari lepak dengan kawan di piza hut, tiba2 tergerak hati nak bukak peti surat.. trus nampak sepucuk surat warna putih.. darah berderau.. adekah iniii????

memang dah dapat agak dah result SI haritu.. belum bukak surat nih lagi dah tau dah isi die..

ye.. sya NR.. sile pergi menyedarkan diri dan pergi jual diri anda untuk kerja!!!!!!

trus semangat -campur skit ade sdey- untuk chari kerja..

dok pikir2 ape nak buat nih... bile teringat 1st step untuk cari kerja adelah kene ade resume/cv.. trus terdown dan malas nak bukak folder yang bernama 'resume for job application'..

wahai badan, silela bersemangat!!!!!

*(lagi bersemangat untuk beronggeng dan berkarok di kala ini)

life puzzle of me...

itu dia berlalu pergi

di sana dia meninggalkan sini

jauh berada kediamannya kini

resah hati fikir berkali-kali

jangan di fikir masa yang telah pergi

apa agaknya yang akan dikerjakan nanti

bila masa akan tiba untuk diri ini?

keindahan alam kecil di tepi rumah

kecantikan perhiasan di dalamnya

gemilang suasana penghuninya

hilang dek kesayuan tuan empunya

sesedap santapan sediaan ibu

segagah kuderat merancang segalanya

sedaya tangan ingin menghulur

seendah tanggapan ingin berhibur

teringat hati yang peduli di seberang

terlupa hati di balik bukit

peduli hati di bawah denai

merintih hati di sisi peraduan

pergilah pergi wahai ini

datangla sini wahai itu

kawan-kawanan terasing menanti

kasih-kasihan tidak terpasti

.......solve it, you totally understands me

menjadi penganggur tegar di rumah, membuat kan hati melonjak2 nak kerja..

vorpal blade slain the Jabberwocky

’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

“Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!”

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought—
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

And as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! and through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

“And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!”
He chortled in his joy.

’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

i'm amazed by the hatter, thus admire this poem..

wish that the hatter be in the real world, be beside me, my savior.. :)

----------

perlukah di beritahu semuanya di sini?

like, who ever care?

kene tag ole kak haz..

1) You have to print the screen wallpaper that you are using right now

2) Tell us why you like that wallpaper
itu gambar minho!!!!!! prince charming tau.. hehehe... (tak lame lagi mungkin akan tukar sebab ada crush baru.. hehu..)

3) Tag people

nash

kord

didie

khairi

ipe

...............

hati ini sedih.. terkilan kerana tak dapat bersama..

hati ini merintih.. kecewa kerana tak berada di sisi..

hati ini menangis.. sebak menahan sengsara..

aku di sini, mengingatimu..

setiap saat, setiap detik, memikirkanmu..

bagaimanakah keadaan mu di sana?

baikkah? sihatkah? selamatkah?

hanya doa dikirim, bergantung pada Yang Kuasa..

agar hidupmu sejahtera selalu..

agar dapat aku jalankan amanah ku di sini..

agar nanti aku kembali, membawa bahagia buatmu..

ibu, ayah.. doakan aku berjaya..

doakan aku tabah..

doakan aku tegar..

aku menghitung hari untuk kembali ke pangkuanmu..

:)

:)

..........

mencoba tuk fahami, mencari celah hatimu...

bila harus menangis, akukan menangis..

namun air mata ini telah habis..

mencoba tuk rasuki, menyentuh palung jiwamu...

bila harus menghiba, aku kan menghiba..

namun rasa ini , telah sampai dihujung lelahku..

segalanya telahku berikan..

tapi kau tak pernah ada penantian..

mungkin kita harus jalani..

cinta memang cukup sampai di sini..

you leave me breathless..

if you're not the one

If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call?
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all?

I never know what the future brings
But I know you're here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I'm praying you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
You know my heart is by your side

I don’t wanna run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

say it isn't so

Skies are dark it's time for rain
Final call you board the train
Heading for tomorrow
I wave goodbye to yesterdays
Wipe the tears you hide your face
Blinded by the sorrow

How can I be smiling like before
When baby, you don't love me anymore

Say it isn't so
Tell me you're not leaving
Say you changed your mind now
That I am only dreaming
That this is not goodbye
This is starting over
If you wanna know
I don't wanna let go
So say it isn't so

Ten to five atleast we tried
We're still alive but hope just died
As they close the door behind you
Whistle blows and tons of steel
Shake the ground beneath the wheels
As I wish I never found you

How can I be smiling when you're gone
Will I be strong enough to carry on

Miles and miles to go before I can say,
Before I can lay my love for you to sleep
Oh, darling oh
I got miles and miles to go
Before anyone will ever hear
Me laugh again

......

speechless when im around you..

hopeless when ur not around..

consider me as a failure..

my heart is disfunctional...

*what to expect from someone who can't get over her first love? a total looser!

kekasih gelapku..

minho~ :)